Fine line

Our etiquette queen, Candy Girl, explains the art of the receiving line.

Dear Candy Girl: I’m planning my wedding and having a little trouble deciding what to do about a receiving line. Do I need one? If I have one, how do I keep it short? What should I say? I’m so confused!

Oh, doll. Nothing should be this stressful, especially not a magical day like your wedding day. Here’s a story to calm your nerves.

Last spring, Candy was attending the wedding of, well, let’s just call her Lacey Garter. It was to be the soirée of the season—no, of the year. Lacey had invited hundreds of guests, all dressed to the nines (your narrator had on a truly fabulous little Betsey Johnson number: fun and flirty, yet tastefully accessorized). The ceremony was beautiful. The bride carried white roses, the groom looked at her longingly as she walked down the aisle and the guests swooned as the couple embraced and had their first kiss as husband and wife.

But we digress. What is truly important about this story is that the bride and groom did not have a receiving line. And, honey, take it from Baby Girl: If your wedding is large and formal like Lacey’s, you simply must have a receiving line. Otherwise, you’ll waste an otherwise perfectly festive event walking from table to table (to table to table...) trying to greet everyone. And what if someone has run to the bathroom and you’ve missed them? Why, you have to make the rounds again to be sure you said your hellos to each guest. Indeed, poor Lacey has no pictures of herself on the dance floor—she never even made it there!

So, getting back to your question. When it comes to weddings, Le Candy subscribes to the old adage: Better safe than sorry. Whether your wedding is big or small, it’s best to receive guests before the reception begins. You can go as formal as you want with this. Tradition calls for the mother of the bride, mother of the groom, bride, groom, maid of honor and all of the bridesmaids to stand in the line, in that order. But, if your wedding is a little more laid back, you may choose to take a more modern approach to the lineup: mother of the bride, father of the bride, bride, groom, mother of the groom and father of the groom.

As for what you should be talking about while receiving guests, here’s the golden rule: Keep it short! Candy Girl, obviously, isn’t one for mincing words, but in this instance, less is certainly more. Introduce your new hubby to guests he hasn’t met, hug and kiss your attendees quickly and thank them for coming. Guests, likewise, should know to keep the line moving. If they linger too long, send them on their way with a peppy “I’ll have more time to talk after dinner!” before effusively greeting the next guest in line.

Of course, you may be thinking a receiving line seems like a clunky tradition and, more importantly, cuts into precious minutes that could be spent boogeying down with your groomie and all your lovely bridesmaids. Might CG suggest an alternative idea? A cocktail hour! A little more manageable, a cocktail hour provides a nice opportunity to relax with your family and friends instead of standing in a line and greeting them with stiff sentiments. After all, this is the beginning of a beautiful life with your beau, not the end of a Little League baseball game.